(Note: this blog contains lots of I/T geektail [geeky detail] that may put our most faithful readers to sleep - please follow directions from the last post and get $115 to buy yourself a Mountain Dew before reading further.)
Rather unfortunately, my Sony VAIO computer is mentally ill. It's also two shakes away from being an self-amputee as various pieces of plastic-disguised-as-high-quality-carbon-composites fall off. Since they don't have an insane asylum for laptops, that means it's time to buy a replacement. There seems to be a common thread in my life with alternating positive and negative experiences with Sony, but I think I'm finally ready to cut the cord and end it once and for all (my idiotic pattern of buying a VAIO, having it break twice as fast at four times the price of the leading brand, getting frustrated, SWEARING I'll never get another Sony, then getting seduced by the newest model's sexy exterior, glistening screen, powerful underchassis, and Hamptons-esque price tag).
But what does this have to do with unemployment, and how does it enter this Unguide - the place for all the things not to do when trying to find a job? Well, in today's digital age, it's would be damn near, if not literally, impossible to get a job without a solid, efficient and reliable computer for:
- revising resumes
- sending emails
- Internet Exploring job openings
- getting invitations to networking events
- applying through those appalling online career sites
- printing out resumes
- looking at LinkedIn, RSS Feeds, Twittering about Tweets, Tweeting about Twits, Facebooking, friending, forwarding, flipping, flopping, flapping, and Digg-ing
(In case you're wondering, that last one is just a feeble attempt to increase my search hits by using popular keywords while demonstrating digital marketing savvy.)
So back to why buying a new computer suxx. First of all, most of the commercial sites don't have a lot of detailed information, or a weird way of comparing, or a list of specs that are not close to what matters, like does the slate gunmetal gray look better than the lava black. Take the processor for instance - will I really notice the difference between an Intel i5 at 2.66GHz and "turbo boost" to 3.06GHz versus the Intel i7 at 2.81GHz and boost to 3.17GHz. Probably not. And if I did, I should be making a lot more money in this market with skills and knowledge like that!
In the end it came down to this: I looked at some computers in real-life at Best Buy and realized what was wrong with my current computer - aside from the right-click button not working, the screen's left hinge being broken, the Windows 7 upgrade freezing every time I have more than 5 browser windows open and having a headphone jack that only works in one ear. When looking at emails, spreadsheets and documents, the newfangled 16:9 "high def aspect ratio" leaves me with too little vertical space and useless horizontal borders. One easy way to fix that: find a laptop with a screen that rotates from landscape to portrait (with actual computing accumen unlike the iTampon, or whatever it's called). Or, ummm: get a bigger computer. Ooooh, how in love I was with my brain-dead VAIO's compact design and light-as-a-feather weight. I nearly got a Netbook if I could have found one with a DVD player, but that apparently defies what the definition of a Netbook is.
And once I decided just maybe bigger is better (in terms of computer screen size), I noticed some of these computers have keyboards which come with a number pad on the side. Whoa, now that's HOT! I never thought much of them until I had one on my desktop at work, and rarely ever use the fake number pad inconveniently placed on the right side of the u, j and m keys. And the other thing I've been waiting 6 years for is a back-lit keyboard. Ooooh, how I just love to write emails (and drafts of cheesy romance novels) at 2am with nothing but the flicker of late-nite TV programming to light the room. I even bought a USB clip-on light to help a few years ago, but that's about as useful as a plug-in heat lamp in the Sahara (Sex and the City 2 reference, in case you missed it, oh faithful one).
During a jaunt to the local BestBuy to return my wireless router which Belkin customer support fried while on the phone once, I decided to saunter down to the laptop section and browse the goods. After some extensive conversations with the only sales rep on the floor, I managed narrow it down to the Toshiba or the... no. Say it isn't so. I won't do it. But. It's pretty. And not as expensive as the last one. Dangit! The only other model that seemed to give me the features and style I was looking for was a Sony F12U3C456K model. Sigh. So having had my computer freeze up 4 times in the last week, losing two blog post drafts and the screen snap out of place twice in 8 hours, I knew I had to act quickly. I mean, if I had been actually going to IvyExec or the Ladders that day, and found a job I wanted to apply to, it wouldn't do me any good if I couldn't craft an eloquent response to a potential employer because my VAIO was in 35 pieces on floor, would it? (Note: the initial damage would be a computer in three pieces when the screen snaps off - the remaining 32 come from violently throwing what's left of the computer against the concrete 10' ceiling, and whacking the cascading silicon remains with a graphite tennis racket.) Besides, it was a Thursday, and I had all day Friday to hunt the concrete jungle for that career to end all careers, right?
And that kicked off a rather exhaustive 9 hour comparison one I got home of Toshiba Satellite T40s, L650s, M480s, A660s, qrst9000s and whatever other models they have all of which differed by 3 components, with no explanation of why the L650 with the i5 processor and 4GB of RAM was more expensive than the R2D2-670 with an i7 processor and 6GB of RAM. Then a miracle happened. I begrudgingly surfed (more like doggie paddled) on over to the sonystyle website and got one of those cutesy little pop-up floating menu screens saying "would you like to chat with a live representative?" just like when you make reservations at aa.com (it's pretty cool actually - an airline representative will call YOU?; brilliant marketing). So I chatted and asked which model met my needs best. Of course their answer was the Z-series which started at $1999 and didn't have the number pad, as opposed to the EB-series which started at $699 and did. But I was amazed that as I asked a few questions and browsed the various offerings and specs, the customer service person actually was able to answer all of my questions. All of them. Every one. Even when I asked what the difference in size between the track pads was across three of the product lines. She even told me when I joked that I wished I could trade-in my old VAIOs like when you buy a new car, that any Sony store would accept them and give me some in-store credit value or something. That of course predicates wanting to ever buy another piece of Sony electronics. And would probably give me even less value than my ill-fated "bonus" (about half a paycheck) that Sony so graciously sent me after leaving the company and saving over $3 million in marketing expenditures so the fat cats could make the next installment on their 45' yachts. But I digress. (Like you didn't see that coming.)
In the end, I had customized and configured a beautiful Sony VAIO EB36-21-hut-hut and a solid Toshiba Satellite A660-TSe1i0t, for $1700 and $1400 respectively (both, of course, with Office 2010 Professional pre-loaded, because I DON'T STEAL software. Or music. I'm old-school like that.) And 10 seconds before hitting the Check-out button on the Sony (god save me), I noticed a pre-configured Toshiba with the i5 processor, 4MB of RAM, 500GB hard drive, number pad (for all that Excel I do), backlit keyboard, double-finger entry trackpad like on the iPhone, and Music-while-the-computer-Sleeps with Harmon-Kardon speakers for only $699. Whoa, that's a good price. And wouldn't you know that just as I was about to checkout and click Pay Now, I decided to quickly check some online reviews. Most reviewers had reviled the new VAIO models, and the Toshiba was too new to have comments or analysis. I finally found one site that had a post, and just as it opened - wouldn't you know - my entire system hemmoraged white light. The pointer disappeared, all the open windows went blank, and the desktop started sputtering. It took me 15 minutes of trying different keyboard shortcuts and trying to grab at different programs to close them out. I finally snatched one of the gadgets and closed it freeing a few kb of memory. That allowed me to find another one and close it freeing up a few more kb and so on until I was able to close Outlook and Excel. Yup. It's time for a new computer. After closing almost all the open applications, I finally got back to the order screen, and clicked OK. And then got one of those pesky "Please Log In to your Account" screens. LUCKILY, the cart still had everything saved and ready to go. Whew! Technology pleases. And technology pains.
But the day was not a complete loss from a career development perspective. One of my favorite entertainment conglomerates had a Pride Mixer in Murray Hill. I put on a nice shirt and suit, slinked to the subway and was fortunate to get an air conditioned subway before too long. But the walk from the subway to the bar was a little less forgiving. It was only 6 blocks, but at 92F in the shade, it didn't take long before I was panting like a chocolate lab. At one intersection some snooty banker and his drinking buddies were lined up 5-across as I was trying to step onto the curb from the street. All I could say in my heat-stroked fervor was "Really? Really." Five steps later I hear the prick shout "yeah, dude, really". Bankers. Really.
I few minutes later I get to the venue, looking forward to seeing old colleagues, and hopefully a few future ones, as well. But what I didn't realize was that JPMorganChaseCitiBankofWherever was also a sponsor. And they invited two friends, and so on, and so on, until probably more than half the people there were from areas very much outside of the entertainment biz. At least they did kick in a few bucks to sponsor some killer appetizers. But even the people who I feel are normally friends were just dismissive, or drunk-sloppy or looking around aimlessly for something better to come along and not even trying to engage, other than the obligatory introductions to the other people in their group who were similarly disinterested. Maybe I just didn't have my "he's-hot" face on. Or maybe it was the bankers. Really! And that was supposed to be the pinnacle [networking] event of Pride Week. More actually came of the Garden Party when I was in a baseball cap and t-shirt. Go figure.
But aside from all that, I did have a contact at one of the channels forward my resume for a finance position to her/his HR contact with a recommendation they bring me in for a meeting. That was nice. And there was also an email from the alumni office with a contact at a bank looking for an equity research associate to cover the entertainment and digital space. That might be cool. Aside from the bankers. Let's see if Mister Blister is singing a different tune in a few months. (After all, it would be good to get some modeling experience to eventually be more competitive for strategy positions; and they can't ALL be self-aggrandizing, ego-inflated, philosophically immature immoralists, can they?) Maybe there'd be an opportunity to conduct research in other languages and travel to other countries or offices to get a real sense of the pulse of the industry. Alas, probably just a pipe dream. Did I mention I love planes, and getting on them yet? Well, that may not exactly work out, but it's always a good idea to keep one's options open. And have a computer that works. And stay out of the heat if it has a tendency to make you bitchy (-ier than usual). And eat your peas. And look both ways before crossing. And cross your 'i's and dot your 't's. And wash behind your ears... and...
OK, faithful reader, signing out for now.
M Blister
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